Hello darlings!

im here to talk about the biggest loser! its an america show, talking about losing weights. contestants with extremely huge bodily figure that weighs about 200 pounds and above, and within a time limit, for instance, 12weeks, they have to shed away HALF THEIR WEIGHT!!! week by week, you will see what their activities like, and their weight difference. magnificant difference, and its really touching.

i came across this episode, which is their finale. this guy, named seth, weighing 200 over pounds, A fat ugly guy. after this programme, he weighs about 100 over pounds, a average guy weight.but a handsome face; he seems like he's transformed into another person. and i remember what his wife said to him.

she said, " seth, now you are completely different. different eating behavious, different bodily size. however, you have a face, that is sooooo familiar, tooo familiar to me."

definitely, he felt extremely happy. feeling a fire in him. however, during the process, many wanted to give up, including him. its an extremely tedious process, where you have to face everything, everything single thing, ALL ALONE. no one can help you to shed your body weights and fats, except yourself.

well. i totally agree. because im on diet and i felt horrible. everyday, the first thing you have to do was to EXERCISE! its damn freaking irrtating, i swear.

i fear of every morning, i fear of bathing, i fear of nights. but every day, i told myself,

" I HAVE TO LOSE MY FATS, I HAVE TO LOSE MY WEIGHTS. I HAVE TO SLIM DOWN!!!!"

every morning, ive to do exercise, thou its just 10 mins EACH, but thinking of having to do every morning, you REALLY FEEL LIKE FAINTING.

climbing up stairs of at least 8th level, for 10 mins. skipping for another 10 mins, but i usually climb the stairs instead of doing this. thou i have to do both. beside that, i have to do stand and squat for another 10 mins. but i didnt. i do sets instead.

and yet, id did that for the past few days. today i didnt do it, cause i really feel tired. not mentally, but physically.

imagine yourself doing stand and squat for 60 times for the first time, and unable to do anything the whole entire week. i had super aching thighs, which cause me to have difficulty in running, or even going down the stairs!! i walk as if i was being fcuked, and i feel so handicapped. my legs become soo jelly that i scare i might fall down while i was walking down the stairs. BUT, DO I HAVE A CHOICE?! i did that while i was bathing because i feel more motivated. looking at myself naked, it does motivate me to work out. at least i have my shower to REALLY keep me awake when ever i wanted to give up. cold water splashing on me, waking me not to give up. well, it works! as the day goes by, i started to hate showering :( but DO I HAVE A CHOICE?! can i choose not to bathe??? NO!

i fear of night. as i have to do sit-ups before i go to bed, imagine, after a long day. however, i didnt do that everyday. cause i'll just fall asleep when i lied on my bed. now, i sleep super early, about 11plus 12. thats not the usual me!!!

also, i have to eat carefully, trying not to let my weight shoot up high. i fear of food, food makes me fat! i eat very little every meals, replacing some of my meals with fruits and biscuits. well. to me, the most important thing is .... i dont faint.

yes, i do feel happy when my weights drop, that sense of satisfaction really motivates me to continue to work hard each time. sometime, i really feel like putting a stop to all these, but in my mind, the sentences started chanting. i have to lose weights!!!!!!!!

i told my friend that wow, that participant really lose half of him. i also wanna lose that much. but you knw what he told me that really waver my mentality of losing weight??

he told me that, he has 2 of him, so that he can lose 1 away. from 200 over pounds to 100 over pounds, thats about half already. so why should i lose weights?

well. yes. i do agree with him, because i dont have 2 of me to lose 1 away. but i just want to lose weight!!!! losing 1/4 of me away, im also happy with it. but my frd just disagree with me of losing weights. maybe he's just worry that i might lose too much and be too skinny, which i think ITS IMPOSSIBLE! skinny will never be used to describe me, i think. not being pessimistic, but just stating the facts. :)

i guess now im just toooooo engross in losing weights. but no worries, i know my limits. and i know i should get some rest and so, i decided to give myself break on sunday, and probably today? i dont know if i will feel guilty for not doing any exercises today. my weight will not drop by itself for just sitting down, watching television and do nothing! hmmmm! what should i doooooo!!!!????

WITH LOVE

BAOYING BERLYN